Why do people have affairs? Why do spouses neglect and verbally abuse their partners? How is it that people who do not yell or put each other down can still be very hurtful? Is there a way to turn around these troubled marriages? Is there an alternative to divorce that not only saves the marriage but heals the pain, creates friendship and even ignites passion? The answers revolve around one main idea: Healing a marriage begins with healing the individuals in it and this book is written for both people in the marriage, even if one has been abusive and one has been a victim of it. Healing can’t take place if communication remains painful. This book explains why certain kinds of communication are painful even if they are well intentioned. It provides tools that create a receptive environment for communicating so that the relationship can be rebuilt. This book further provides a roadmap for getting rid of abuser values, understanding power grabs, taking—and giving up—control, reading body language, 50 questions to foster intimacy, and much more. The concepts in The Healing Is Mutual come to life through its many stories, beginning with that of Jean and Ricky, whose conflict over supposedly small things begins a brush fire that is sometimes under control and sometimes raging. Readers will immediately connect with Jean, Ricky and the other characters whose dilemmas bring the tools in this book to life.